There Is A Longing

Today is the third Sunday of Advent. Advent is the time in which we take special care to consider the first coming of Christ Jesus, as well as prepare our hearts and minds for His promised second Coming. Some of the questions I like to meditate upon are Who Is Jesus The Christ? Who Do I say He Is? What does His first Coming mean to me? How has the awakening of the Holy Spirit within me changed my life? Am I using the gifts and talents bestowed upon me by the Holy Spirit to help a hurting world? For what am I grateful? How have I experienced God's healing power in my life - mind, body, soul and spirit? Do I live out Jesus' desire for me to offer mercy, even more than sacrifice? Does the promised second Coming of Christ encourage me or challenge me? Or both? To close, I would like to share with you the words of my very favorite hymn, "There Is A Longing." Our church's music director usually reserves this song for Advent. I hope that the words will touch your heart in a meaningful way like they do mine. You can find the words to the song in the post below.

There Is A Longing - Lyrics

"There Is A Longing" by Anne Quigley

Refrain:

There is a longing in our hearts, O Lord,
for you to reveal yourself to us.
There is a longing in our hearts for love
we only find in you, our God.

Verse 1:
For justice, for freedom, for mercy:
hear our prayer.
In sorrow, in grief:
be near, hear our prayer, O God.

Refrain

Verse 2:
For wisdom, for courage, for comfort:
hear our prayer.
In weakness, in fear:
be near, hear our prayer, O God.

Refrain

Verse 3:
For healing, for wholeness, for new life:
hear our prayer.
In sickness, in death:
be near, hear our prayer, O God.

Refrain

Verse 4:
Lord save us, take pity, light in our
darkness.
We call you, we wait:
be near, hear our prayer, O God.


Refrain

The Vision - Part III

A week after the Heaven experience, I was watching Father John Corapi on EWTN. He began the program by saying that he would be talking about Mary, mother of Jesus. Normally, I would have turned the program off. Though I had already entered the Catholic Church at this point, I believed that Catholics were idolatrous in their love for Mary. However, because of my experience, I decided to keep the program on. Father Corapi immediately began by saying, "You know how at the end of the 'Hail Mary' we say 'pray for us, now and at the hour of our death?' " Well, I heard very little of what Father Corapi said after that, because in that moment, I became keenly aware that Mary had been praying for me and the troubles I was having with my heart. I had said the 'Hail Mary' so many times in my life and had no real understanding that I had been asking her to pray for me. But, there she was that evening praying for ME!

The next Sunday, I told my priest what had happened. He laughed and said to me, "You had a vision of Mary." He proceeded to ask me what the date was on which the "vision" had occured. I had no idea. At that point, I didn't even know what a "Mary Vision" was, and I certainly didn't know that she often appears on special dates.

That vision brought so much comfort to my sister and me after our mother died only 6 months later. I do not have a death wish, and I am very grateful for the life that has been given to me. But, I no longer have any fear of death at all. God has revealed to me that what I saw in the "vision" is nothing compared to what is wating for us all. Still, I want to raise my children and do all of the things that I enjoy doing most, especially write, ski, and travel.

About a year and a half ago, I collapsed after my heart had become very weak due to a slew of other health issues. Before the doctors even knew what was wrong with me, I asked God to please tell me why I had collapsed and why I was having so many other problems. The Holy Spirit said to me Why was Mary praying for you? Ask her to pray for you now. Of course, I knew that God was referring back to the vision and the heart palpitation. At that point, I realized that it had been my heart that had caused my collapse and the seizures that followed. Four months of doctors appointments confirmed God's Words.

Mary was the first Christian, the first one to believe that our Messiah had come. No matter your faith, I encourage you to ask Mary to pray for you, too. As Sacred Scripture tells us, Jesus' first Miracle was performed at the request of his mother at the Wedding at Cana (Gospel according to St. John 2:1-11). It is important to note that the emphasis is not on Mary. She always points back to her Son. In Mary's own words, we are to "do whatever He tells you" (John 2:5). We don't pray to Mary or those in Heaven. We ask them to pray for us, just like we would ask a friend to pray for us. We are blessed to have such "a great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1) to ask to intercede on our behalf... those who are already in the full presence of God.

The Vision - Part II

It happened one night during the summer of 2005. I don’t remember what day or month. At the time, I had no idea that it could have some significance. I woke up in the middle of the night with a shooting pain in my chest. A heart palpitation shot me straight up in bed into a sitting position. I sat on the edge of the bed for a few seconds taking a few slow, deep breaths. I was afraid. When the pain subsided and I had caught my breath, I laid back down and closed my eyes. What came next was a most wonderful experience.

As soon as my eyes were closed, I saw a tall, metal gate. Then, I noticed three little children - two girls and a boy - standing on the other side of the gate peering through the bars at me. Everything, including the children, was in a sepia color. The children had sweet, kind faces. They appeared to be watching me to see what I would do.

Slowly, the gate doors began to open. As they did, a bright, bright, white, white light emerged. As the gate doors continued to open, the light became all encompassing. The light was whiter than anything I could ever describe or imagine. It did not, however, have a harsh glare to it. It was beautiful! How a bright, white light could be beautiful, I can’t even begin to explain. A sense of sheer peace and joy filled me like I had never before experienced nor have since.

In the distance, an image began to appear. It was a woman. As the white light made way for other images, the “ground area” continued to remain white. Not like a cloud, not like a floor. Just WHITE. Then I could see that a white gazebo had formed around the woman. Flowers began to surround the gazebo… pink, purple, blue, green and yellow. They were the brightest, most vibrant colors that I have ever seen. They were absolutely beautiful! The woman was dressed in a long white gown, and a long, blue veil covered her head. She was looking down. By no effort of my own, I began moving closer to her. I was not walking, floating, or flying. I was just “moving” slowly toward her. I had no control over my own movement. As I was moving forward, I began to sense that maybe I had died. I opened my eyes.

I was still lying in my bed in my bedroom. I was definitely awake, and I was definitely not dead. I closed my eyes and to my surprise, everything was still there exactly the way it was before I opened my eyes. Everything was beautiful, serene, and peaceful. The woman was so beautiful. The white light surrounding everything was beautiful beyond words. I was filled with so much joy, love and peace. Strangely, I knew that I had a choice to stay or go. But surely I wasn’t dead. I didn’t understand. I didn’t want to leave. “What about my children?” I thought. It was so peaceful and beautiful – I really did not want to leave. How could I leave this? “But what about my children?” I kept thinking. Slowly, I began to move away from the gazebo, the woman, and the beautiful flowers. It wasn’t because I was walking away. I was still facing her. I was just moving backwards in the same manner in which I had arrived. I opened my eyes. I was still in my bedroom. I closed my eyes once again. Then, the image of the woman, the garden and the bright, white light were replaced by the closing gate. The gate slowly faded away.

I got up and went to the bathroom, overwhelmed by the whole experience. I couldn’t believe how much joy, peace, and love I had felt in those moments. When I returned to bed, I felt sad that it had all ended. But I knew, without a doubt, that I would be there again. I had been given a great privilege and gift of seeing a tiny piece of Heaven, as well as Mary, the mother of Jesus.

The Vision - Part I

Tomorrow is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception - a day which honors (not worships) Mary, most blessed mother of Jesus. Why honor Mary? We are called to honor our own mothers and fathers. How much more the mother of Jesus? Mary's "Yes" was significant in bringing Jesus the Christ into the world. Her example of full trust in God our Father, despite very real dangers, is such an inspiration to me. Tomorrow, I am going to share an experience that I had a little over three years ago. I have shared this story with very few people; however, I realize that by not sharing it more, I am being selfish in a way. And, I am not trusting God to keep me safe from criticism from others. Those who have heard the story have told me that it gives them much hope. My wish is that you will find some inspiration from hearing it, too. I will preface the story with a note that I was not raised Catholic. I did, however, have a very close friend who taught me the "Hail Mary" and "Our Father" when I was a child. Though I didn't understand the words, I said the prayers anyway, especially when I was struggling in college (even though I was a self-professed atheist). And, at the time of the experience, I was struggling with the Catholic teachings about Mary. I had asked God a few months before to help me understand her. God answered that prayer in a life-changing way! (NOTE: The Feast of the Immaculate Conception does not memorialize Mary's conception of Jesus, rather Mary's being conceived herself without sin. I can't say that I fully understand this. It is one of those things I put in the "trust" column.)

Santa Claus

Today, the Feast of St. Nicholas, we honor the fourth century Bishop of Myra. "Perhaps the best-known story about Nicholas concerns his charity toward a poor man who was unable to provide dowries for his three daughters of marriageable age. Rather than see them forced into prostitution, Nicholas secretly tossed a bag of gold through the poor man's window on three separate occasions, thus enabling the daughters to be married. Over the centuries, this particular legend evolved into the custom of gift-giving on the saint's feast day. In the English-speaking countries, St. Nicholas became, by a twist of the tongue, Santa Claus... further expanding the example of generosity portrayed by this holy bishop" (American Catholic.org). May our own charity be a sign to the world of the great gift of Love given to us by our Father in Heaven... Jesus, the Christ, our Lord.

The Gift

I've been hearing from God in a very personal way for many years now. I'm still very humbled that such a gift has been bestowed upon me. As someone who enjoys writing, I've felt the call to write for God. The Holy Spirit has led me to a few of the projects on which I am working. However, when I asked God specifically what He wants me to do with the gift of "hearing" His Voice, I was quite surprised by His answer: I just want you to tell people that I love them. How simple, yet difficult at the same time. "God loves you!" How hard can it be to tell a person that? Sometimes it is very, very easy. Some people know God in a very personal way and can't hear the words enough. But there are also those whose eyes, ears and hearts the Holy Spirit has not yet opened, who do not recognize God's presence in the world. I understand... I was once there, too. Like a priest once said to me, "Young lady, you need to meet people where they are." I have found that often times the best way to tell people that God loves them is by extending the love of Christ to them through caring, understanding words and acts of service. We can't beat people over the head with our Bibles, tracts, and condemnation. It never worked on me. I was literally loved to the Trinity. It was by witnessing others' joy and hope, despite their circumstances, that made me want what they had. Patience and understanding toward me as I asked questions is what helped me to take the leap of faith needed. Through my writings, I am trying to do what God has asked of me... to tell people that God loves them. So, by the way, in case you don't know it or haven't heard it for a long time... I am here to tell you that God loves you! Peace.

Lean Into Me

There is a scene from the movie "Oh, God" that I just love. John Denver's character asks God (played by George Burns) why God allows bad things to happen on Earth, why He doesn't help us. God's reply was, "I do help you. I gave you each other." I know in my own life, it is wonderful to have friends and family who can help ease the physical and emotional burdens of life. But sometimes, there are things in our lives that no words and no amount of understanding can ever "fix". In recent months, a friend asked me for some advice. When I asked God what I should say to him, God said to me Tell him to lean into Me. God didn't tell me to tell my friend what to do. Instead, He told me to point my friend to Himself in the Trinity. While I am fortunate to have some very caring people in my life to help me get through life's greatest challenges... it is sometimes just not enough. So, it is during these times that I find myself "leaning into God" even more. And, whether we realize it or not, we really have no place else to go. But, if we trust, He is always enough.

I Will Speak To Their Hearts

The gift of "hearing" God's Voice has been a true blessing. When I asked God a few years ago why everyone can't hear from Him, His reply was a pleasant surprise: Everyone can hear My Voice, but not everyone listens. I speak to all people but in different ways. In the past few months, I have had many "visions" of Jesus weeping as He looks over Jerusalem. I've sensed that His sadness stems from His awareness of how distracted people are by the world today. This past summer, while in quiet prayer, the Holy Spirit said to me You get them quiet, and I will speak to their hearts. I recently came across a quote by Soren Kierkegaard that says it all so well: "As my prayer became more attentive and inward I had less and less to say. I finally became completely silent. I started to listen -- which is even further removed from speaking. I first thought that praying entailed speaking. I then learnt that praying is hearing, not merely being silent. This is how it is, to pray does not mean to listen to oneself speaking. Prayer involves becoming silent, and being silent, and waiting until God is heard." May we quiet our minds and surroundings so that we can be more attentive to what God is speaking to our hearts today.

Surrender

In today's Gospel reading, Jesus identifies the woman who "contributed all she had" (St. Mark 12: 38-44). Appropriately, Father's homily focused on surrender.... surrendering our whole lives to God. He challenged us to look inward and be honest with ourselves about what we still have not surrendered to God. It is different for everyone. But still, the struggle is the same. Today, I've been asking myself: What beliefs am I still holding to? Is it my way instead of God's way? My timing? My desired outcomes? In the end, it will all be God's Way. When will we give up the fight? When will we TRUST enough to fall backwards off the "cliff" right into the arms of God? I write these things as an inspiration to myself (and, hopefully to those who read this). Condemnation and stone throwing are never my desired hope for this blog. I struggle like everyone else and do not claim to have all the answers. I, too, am on this journey of faith, and I most certainly am a "work in progress". I pray for all of you, and I ask for your prayers in return. Blessings.

Peace In Your Heart

There is so much happening in the world today that is pulling us further and further away from truth. While I have a great sense that "things" are happening around us, I find much comfort in reflecting upon the Words that God spoke to me this past summer. I had asked God very directly about the meaning of current world events and what my response should be. The Holy Spirit's words were clear and direct. Have peace in your heart and trust in your Lord. As it is written in Sacred Scripture, our Heavenly Father Who sees all, encourages us through St. Paul to "have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4: 6-7) May God's peace be with you today.

Be Patient

Be Patient with those who do not understand the depth of My Love. These are the words the Holy Spirit spoke to me at a silent retreat two years ago. Those words have stayed with me and have been a powerful influence on me when choosing how to respond to others. When I find myself upset with world events, politicians and their decisions, and those around me who are acting in ugly ways, God gently brings these words back to me. How easy it is to forget that "our struggle is not with flesh and blood, but with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirts in the heavens." (Ephesians 6:12) The devil wants nothing more than for humans to be divided in all things. He is the father of all lies and will put a wedge in between all of God's children whenever and wherever he can. It helps me to remember what Joyce Meyer says....hurting people hurt people. It helps me to remember that we don't know what we don't know. It helps me to remember that we know the end of the story and what is waiting for us is pure Love....the Trinity...in Heaven. I truly believe that if we really, really knew, felt, and understood how much God loves each and everyone one of us, our thoughts and actions toward others would be completely different. And, I also believe that if everyone knew this, no one would be able to resist Him. We all have a role in helping to make "His Kingdom Come on Earth as it is in Heaven" by revealing the One, True, Loving God to others through our actions ("Preach the Gospel always, and sometimes use words" - St Francis of Assisi). I pray that we would all find the strength and courage to be patient with those who do not understand the depth of His Love.

This is My Commandment

Today, on this Eve of the Feast of All Saints, I continue the series about detach- ment. Today's topic is also about detachment from others but with a bit of a twist. We live in a world with great differences among its people...differences in race, traditions, foods, ideas, beliefs, and values. We often find ourselves in circumstances in which, because of our differences, we find it very difficult to like, let alone love, people with differing world views. But, as my priest pointed out this morning, above all else, we are commanded (not suggested) to love one another as Jesus loves us (John 15:12). What does that mean for us in regards to detachment? It means that despite what others are doing, no matter what, we are to find joy and happiness in our own lives for the simple reason that we are Loved perfectly by our Father in Heaven. This, of course, does not imply that all behaviors of others are acceptable and should be tolerated. Very often, action may be required of us to stop abuses. But, despite unfavorable behaviors (our own included), we are called to love. May we persevere in witnessing the Love that God so generously bestows upon us.

The Snare

When we think about living a life of detach- ment, it is easy to conclude that detachment from things is the only issue. However, one of the biggest struggles that we must all face is the detachment from others. That is.... the detachment from their opinions of us, our need for their approval, the need to be understood, and the need to be right. We can become so afraid of what others may think and say about us, that we forget to be who we were truly created to be.... ourselves, created in the image of Love. "The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord is safe." (Proverbs 29:25) We were created to love others, but we were not created to live our lives in such a way that we cease to become our authentic selves. We must each live by our conscience, following the guidance of the Holy Spirit in all things. When we live our lives in the ways that God leads us, we most certainly risk not being liked or understood. To some, we may become their "kill joy". However, if we are truly living our lives filled with joy because we've submitted to a deeper understanding of love, our lives will become very attractive to those around us who are struggling themselves. May we all be courageous enough to take an honest look at ourselves, do a daily Examination of Conscience, and persevere in living the life to which we were called....one of Holiness (to love like God).

From One Source Flows Life

As I mentioned in my last post, I'll be sharing what I am learning about detachment. I met with my priest last week to discuss this very subject. Father explained to me that I need to try to look at the world, life and my surroundings in more simplistic terms. He recommended that I try to think about the fact that all things flow from One Source, our Creator. He explained that things really are not as complicated as they seem. If we can look at our lives from the standpoint that no matter what... God loves us, we will then have the inner peace to live our lives with joy. Out of inner peace and simplicity will flow exterior peace. Our surroundings may tell us a lot about our interior lives. Do we have areas in our homes that are not quite as organized as they should be? Have we accumulated so much that we don't have time to enjoy any of it? Do we own things, or do they own us? What importance have we "attached" to the physical things in our lives? Do we make things more important than people? Are our things negatively impacting those in our life? God has very clearly said to me over the past few years Sell all that you have and give it to the poor. When I asked Him if He wanted me to sell my house and everything in it, He said No. Sell every excess that is evil. He wasn't saying to me that the "things" are evil. I don't have to get rid of everything. What He was saying was get rid of the "excess". "Evil" is anything that keeps our hearts and minds cluttered in such a way that we cannot fully experience God's Presence in our lives. It is the excesses that add no value to our lives... that are a distraction and keep our lives stagnant instead of flowing. It's important to note that it is perfectly fine to own possessions. What's important to ask ourselves is whether the possessions own us. I am currently working to clear out the excesses in my own life. Father also made it very clear that perfection should not be our goal. A little messy is good! Take some time today to reflect about the deep Love that God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have for each and every one of us. Are there any excesses in your physical world that are holding you back from really enjoying your life? What is your attitude toward those things? Is there someone who may benefit from these things to whom you can give them? May you have peace in your hearts and minds today and always.

Detachment

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading about detachment lately... God has most

certainly prompted me in this direction. I've heard His Voice telling me to sell all that you have and give it to the poor. I've heard it at Mass in the Gospel readings. I've felt Him nudge me toward specific books on the subject. And I've "known" to seek out spirtual advisors to help me learn more about detaching from the world. He is leading me down a path that is helping to fullfill a deep desire for inner peace and happiness. Detachment... not just from things, but from the need for approval from others, the need to be understood, the need to contol things that are out of my control, the need to have people act in ways that I think they should act. Detachment is a well-known practice of monks, but it can be our practice, too. I have found a limited number of resources on the subject, but maybe I have found enough of them to grow in peace, happiness, contentment, and joy. I will dedicate the next several postings to sharing what I am learning and experiencing regarding detachment. I hope that you find some freedom in your hearts and minds as you journey down this path with me. (Photo: The Philospher by Rembrandt)

Something Holy In A Day

A few years ago, I watched a program about pilgrimages. I learned that a pilgrimage is something you do "to seek something Holy." One of the show's hosts suggested that an experience as simple as traveling to church is a pilgrimage. So, the following Sunday as my husband and I drove to Mass, I silently prayed, "Lord, please help me find something Holy in the day." During Mass, there was no epiphany, no angelic vision, no nothing that I found to be out of the ordinary. I surmised that either it didn't happen or I missed it. On the way home, we stopped at the grocery store. It was there that God caught me by surprise. A friend with whom I had done a few Bible studies was there with her husband. When I greeted them, my friend's husband was nudging my friend saying, "Don't you have something to ask her?" My friend was perturbed and told him, "I can do this myself." What I soon found out was that she wanted me to be the new host mother for an exchange student that was having difficulties in her current host home. I found my husband in the store and shared the request with him. Without hesitating, he said, "Yes!" Before I knew it, the arrangements for her to come live with us were being made. On the way home from the store, I remembered my prayer. "Lord, help me find something Holy in the day." It seemed to me in that moment that my prayer had been answered. The young lady who lived with us for almost 8 months turned out to be a tremendous blessing. During her stay I learned a lot, especially about myself. I don't know who benefited more from her visit, but I'd have to say that most likely it was me. How about you? Would you like to find "something Holy in the day"? Ask God to show you. Then be alert to what He brings into your life. You might be surprised at what beautiful blessings He has waiting for you.

The Hour of Decision

This past Winter, my younger son was ill, and I was trying to decide whether to keep him home from school. While this may not seem like a big deal, it would have meant his 19th absence from school due to illness that year. I would have to petition a request to allow him to advance to the next grade. This was not new. I had to do this for him just about every other year due to his many illnesses.

As I stood in the kitchen trying to decide whether to send him to school or call the doctor, I remembered to ask the only One Who can help any of us... "God, what should I do?" I asked. His reply was life changing for me: Now is the 'Hour of Decision'. Will you choose to live a life of love, or will you choose to live a life of fear? BAM! I had my answer. A sense of peace, a peace that surpasses all understanding, filled my heart, my mind, my body.

In that moment, I understood that this was not just about whether to keep my son home from school when he was sick. No, this went much deeper. I now had the template for all decision making. I've learned to begin asking myself, "Am I doing this out of love or fear?" Perfect Love comes from God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Perfect Love casts out all fear.

So, each one of us must decide in all things: How will we choose to live? A life of love or a life of fear? Now is the 'Hour of Decision'.

The Veil

The Veil between Heaven and Earth is thin. Let us seek to be quiet and aware enough to hear God "speak" to us. Be still and know that I AM (Psalm 46:10). God speaks to our hearts through His Word, the beauty of Creation, music, books, animals, science, and other humans (babies, children, the poor, the sick, the elderly). And, sometimes, God speaks to us in words, sentences, whole conversations, visions, and knowings. My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me (John 10:27). Take some time today, this weekend, everyday to come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest for a while. Take some time to Be still and break through the veil to hear what God has to say to you.

Step Out of the Boat Peter

Today is a new beginning. A day that I am taking a leap of faith to answer the Call that our Lord has made to me: Step out of the boat, Peter.

Today is the day I take my writing and my passion and love for our loving and merciful God to a new level. To a deeper level of TRUST. Step out of the boat, Peter. I AM here waiting for you in the unknown, unseen. For too long, I have allowed the opinions of others to keep me from the Call that I heard so long ago. No more. Step out of the boat, Peter. May the Lord of all peace be with you today and always.